Guiding Hand
by A M3mb3r123
Summary: We all need someone to guide us from time to time. It's the people who help us through our darkest times that really matter to us. Trigger Warning! One-shot


Sabine sighed as she sat by a wall in her room. She'd been trying for hours to finish this picture, but she just couldn't get it right. _Nothing_ felt right. She was trying to paint a picture of a girl, like she'd done hundreds of times in this exact spot. It was all so frustrating! Everything was wrong, from the hair and skin color, right down to the way the girl stood in the middle of nowhere.

 _"_ _If only Ketsu was here."_ She though absentmindedly. _"_ _She'd help me."_ Sabine though back to all the times on their ship that Ketsu had helped her, pulling her away from insanity, literally.

It usually started when Sabine was painting something, and got stuck. Her mind would just stall in a rut, and she couldn't get out of it. In desperate attempts to climb out of the metaphorical rut, she'd paint and paint and paint. And when it didn't work, she'd get angry.

She'd throw paint cans at the walls, screaming in frustration. Then she'd sit down and run her hands through her hair. But that would only make her madder, because her hair was the same as it had been for months.

In Sabine's mind, something always had to be changing, something about herself. In moments like these, she grab her paint cans and spray them all over her arms, then her clothes. And when that wasn't enough, she'd spray her hair, just so there would be something different about her.

After she'd realized what she'd done, Sabine would always try to wash the paint off. She'd run into the bathroom and run her arms under warm water and scrub. And when the paint wouldn't come off, she'd scrub harder. Once it was off, she didn't stop scrubbing.

Her arms would turn red and flaky. But would Sabine stop? No. She'd scrub harder untill her arm would split open. Once she saw the blood, and realized what exactly she'd done, she'd crumple to the floor and weep. The first few times this happened, Ketsu would find her in a blob on the floor, a bloody painted mess.

Ketsu would wordlessly clean her wounds and bandage her arms. Then she'd wash the paint out of Sabine's hair. Sabine would try to stop her.

"You don't have to do this." She'd say. "I'm the one who got myself into this mess." But Ketsu never stopped. Once Sabine was clean, she'd lead her into the galley and sit her down at the table.

While Ketsu cooked, Sabine would just sit there, unable to feel anything. Once Sabine was eating, Ketsu would grab the hair dye and start in on Sabine's hair. Sabine didn't mind. It was nice to have someone color her hair for her, and she trusted Ketsu.

When it had been in long enough, Ketsu would wash the dye out and comb her hair until it was dry. Then she'd sit down by Sabine and put her arm around her. Sabine would turn, bury her face in Ketsu's chest, and cry. And Ketsu would hold her there.

She wasn't exactly sure why Sabine would do this to herself. But she knew she'd been through a lot, with the Empire and her family. She knew that Sabine needed someone, and Ketsu had made a promise to herself long ago that no one would hurt Sabine, even if that person was Sabine herself.

As time went on, Ketsu could tell when Sabine was going to have one of her attacks. She'd stop her before she could hurt herself, dye her hair a different color, and hold her for as long as she needed to be held.

It had been a hard decision for them to part ways. Ketsu couldn't bear the thought of Sabine getting hurt without her to help. But Sabine needed to start anew. She'd grown to hate bounty hunting, even if that meant leaving Ketsu. It hurt knowing Sabine could leave her like that. But if it was what she needed, Ketsu was willing to do anything.

Now, as Sabine sat in her room, she remembered the kindness Ketsu had shown her all those years. How it felt to know that she was always there to help. She missed her. A lot. If only they hadn't been bounty hunters, everything could have worked out. It would have been great.

But it hadn't worked out. As far as Sabine knew, Ketsu was still a bounty hunter, trading lives for money. But there had been good in her, Sabine had witnessed it firsthand.

So Sabine abandoned the spot on the wall, and went and dyed her hair, the same colors Ketsu had dyed it the first time Sabine broke down.

After that, she sat down and started painting again. This time, everything was good. It turned out better than she'd intended. It was a portrait of Ketsu, sitting at the table in the galley, smirking. It was missing something. Sabine started painting again.

Now there were two people, Ketsu and Sabine, sitting right next to each other, like they had so many times before.

 **A/N** Hey guys! I hope you liked it! I know it was really heavy and stuff, but I really thought that I needed to write this. For those of you going through a spot in their lives where you break down or harm yourself, please please please promise me you'll work to stop. Trust me, I know it can be hard to, but I can promise you that life gets better! It may not seem like it will, but it will, I swear. I love each and everyone of you, and I mean it.

-M3m

P.S. I'm sorry, but I can't pm right now, so if you need to rant I can't respond. I swear I would if I could. Lets just say I messed some s*** up, lol. Love all y'all!


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